IN PAIN - OUT OF CONTROL
It is six years later since I wrote what I put in this blog I wrote below. Six years on I have learnt much, healed much and been sanctified much. However in 2011, I allowed my mind to go into a stronghold of fantasy for a few months and when I removed myself from employment it ceased.
Whew this was a strong work/attack of darkness new to me; I knew this, felt this and discerned this but did not know the strength of it, but in two minds about it I did not fight it so I received it. It is like a spell of passion over you, its so supernatural that your bewitched and become awakened. And of course it's strengthened because you/I yielded to the imaginations as you/I allowed the desire of homosexual lust to rule from listening to the spirits scenarios of fantasy offered with a same sex person "But every man/woman is tempted, when he/she is drawn away of his/her own lust, and enticed." (James 1:14).
But with any supernatural work they have to have grounds or inroads to onset strongly and that's why we yield to their temptations to their works and receive them for they've got either unknown doors, flight cycles and unsanctified flesh to come in on us. Its not just desire for same sex encounter that they come against us, their door can be a familiar flight cycle as in isolation, loneliness, depression with sleep. Therefore when we are in these caves they want to furnish it with homosexual lust to fortify their existing fort. And it is here we use the comfort of this temptation even though we don't want it, but it elevates the isolation, loneliness, depression or whatever is your stronghold your familiar way of coping when its all too much.
I can truthfully say I did not in my heart or my head want or even desire this 27 year old woman or did I like her as a person - at all, it was just a way of escape with a supernatural intensity I enjoyed. Ephesians 2:1-2 has an application - its a sin war of the flesh and evil spirits influenced by the world we live in. Yes my ego liked it that someone wanted me sexually, so I allowed a stronghold of lust to comfort me and because of my unmet deeper needs and unsanctified flesh I ran with sin energy, to this I ask you to forgive me I repent.
Anyway of late in 2012 I wavered yet this time I did not allow myself to fully digest their temptations and senarios. Yes homosexual lust with this woman was desirable because of unhealed or unseen drawing to her red hair, a want for company with an intelligent woman and I guess an admiration that she was a professional woman coupled with my perceived reality / pain.
But the truth was her and I had very very little in common and we travelled to the beat of a different drum, we lived in two seperate worlds/realms and never the twain would meet. Regardless that she gave spirits opportunity for a supernatural strategy against me because of her sensuous seductive actions towards me I should have put them to flight, released judgment against them but I was enticed by the lust in my own flesh.
Therefore she can not be blamed as she was only acting accordingly to how a worldly woman would act; and the real truth is they had rights to link up with what was still in me, you could say her unclean spirits had attraction to my unclean spirits. I have now realized that I can cast them out but until I come up higher and my personality is changed for they are intertwined in it, they will only return and months or years away I will be back in a stronghold of fantasy of homosexual lust again.
Anyway given this truth and her red hair, intelligence and my admiration for her I entertained their woman to woman imaginations with my homosexual lust - the lust of my flesh and the unhealed hidden issues that were drawing me to desire her. I had not obeyed Him or processed my emotional pain but instead wallowing in self-pity for months so any wonder I entertained their imaginations. But truth is because of my lust that I refused to keep sanctified or had I chosen to keep off the homosexual cloak they knew they could reinforce their works for my flesh to waver.
PROPHETICALLY TAKE OFF THE CLOAK, THROW IT IN THE FIRE OF THE LIVING GOD. All of that old lifestyle has to come away; yes it's a process, yet there comes a time when you have to disguard that cloak totally, stop your flirting, stop luring with seduction, stop using magnetism and charisma for power, stop dressing like you belong to the devil, stop eating the unclean things through your eyes.
Ephesians 2:1-3 sums up this reality for its the warfare of our flesh, unclean spirits infulenced by the world we live in, and the truth is we are in a sin war. "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons/daughters of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest." (Ephesians 2:1-2)
So I had to battle the sorcery the attacks of darkness and deal with the lust of woman to woman and not that I really wanted her, again it is just the delight of woman on woman presented by spirits that I had to batte. Anyway this time I knew what I was up against, this time I was able to differentiate my flesh to their powers on both sides; that is her spirits in and over her - mate she has high rank in ancestral spirits. I knew this time their powers once fully accepted what buzz and bondage this would do to me if I fully intertwined and ran with them. This time I knew they would work on my mind to validate and solidify their dececption.
I know now the more you listen to spirits they will cause you to fancy someone that you don't truly in reality even want or who are/were your type. Or would you, have had you not allowed yourself to be bewitched (Galatians 3:1), you would never even have considered intimacy with her/them, you would have been able to say no to your flesh, therefore rebuke them on their onsets and don't go there.
Listen, they cause so much delusion when you entertain them and look they will have you having sex together jumping from a plane, doing it on the top of Mount Everest. This is a picture of the extreme deception, the delusion they come up with, and its absurd - you have to learn to know their thoughts from your own and warfare against them in The Person of The Holy Spirit right on their onsets.
Truth is delusions/fantasy never comes into reality, and they never can as it is created by imaginations of darkness and in the end you will not know what is truth and what is false. If you know this and are using spirits as toys to play with just to entertain your mind and body then this is spiritual adultery and we then come under Romans 1:21-31 and will become bonded to a debased tormented mind reeling in unreality.
Now it is January 2013 and I am feeling sorry for myself sick of the same ole same ole pining and the enemies thoughts are knocking at my door as in my employed work a woman who has sex addiction finds me attractive and desirable. But this time I know the battle, the sin war of the world we live in / job, the homosexual lust in my flesh and these spirits. Consider this scripture reveals the reality of spirits of darkness "Now the Holy Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils/spirits;" 1 Timothy 4:1
This time my ego does not need pampering and I know how much I am accepted and loved by Jesus and I know its not about the sex it is not what I need. This time I know I am in pain, this time I know better and this time I am not answering the door at all, full stop, no way. I want to love her alright, love her to Jesus and take her to His bed chambers and allow His love to flow through me that she may be set free, and I am in prayer on how to impact her life.
This time I have learnt that when this comes against me I am to put direct boundaries around them, around the she, and in The Spirit so it comes with sin conviction to the she. Therefore I have said to her NO, no don't even consider it, don't even go there behave yourself, I am a committed Christian and that is what I once was I am no longer deep down that girl I used to be. I have homosexual lust but I do not want to allow it to have life or lordship over me and I understand your sex addiction I've been there. Thankyou but I am staying with Jesus and it is only Jesus who can bring you out of your sexual addiction and love you to wholeness. She is in her forties and is gorgeous and very sexy, but I am not moved or do I even find her desirable, for all I can see is a broken woman whom Jesus loves and wants to heal and who belongs to Him.
I do believe in my heart I do not want to be literally physically intimate with any woman per se, for I want to remain faithful and stay in Christ and become more than I am today. As for my flight cycles, my flesh, my imaginations they still need sanctifying and The Truth is perverse thoughts into fantasy are a transgression so my mind has yet to come into 100 % agreement with His Word and no longer use their fanasty lust as a way of escape for an anaesthetic that it awakens homosexual lust in my flesh.
And I don't stress over this stuff, and likewise you, don't stress over the homosexual lust, it's there and remember healing is a process, a journey, as is restoration and sanctification the walk of holiness. We have enough "hurdles and hardships" without getting stressed over no control over our thoughts. The enemy loves to give the thoughts then loves to bring a spirit of condemnation, guilt and even suicide "I dont want to live anymore" "I don't care if I died today" "I just want to die." The devil is a liar, Jesus loves us, understands us, heals us, and walks us through every obstacle and we get stronger and born again, we do make it through every cry, yes we do make it through.
We know supernatural imaginations are a set up from darkness to try and take us back literally to our past way of life so lighten up. God will use this to expose their grounds and to take us to the threshing floor until we get stronger in the battle that the enemy no longer has wide and easy inroads. And He uses these works to do a deeper work in us, and yes He can chastise us more mature ones through it so we don't want to go back into that cave and refurnish it to partake of the rotten fruits. Truth is He is kind and loving and understanding God , but He is also Holy and the Sanctifier of our soul to bring us into holiness and a life of puriety (1 Corinthians 7:1).
Regardless at how far I have come in holiness or at what degree I have entertained imaginations this time I refuse to go back into a strong grip a spiritual power grip over my mind. I refuse to allow again any grip by giving into my flesh to give spirits of darkness a stronghold for it is so much work to get out of them and these powers can awaken to sexual desire and torment the mind that there is less freedom in thoughts.
TRUTH IS THE ROAD TO RECOVERY IS HARD, THE WORK REQUIRED TO BECOME A MINISTER OF THE GOSPEL IS ALSO HARD, BUT WE DO NOT WANT TO FORFEIT IT BY GIVING UP BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A HARD ROAD.
Therefore this is why I am reading and reposting so as to confess and repent to God and before you. Milk the moment for others then I can stay strong, stay in His Presence, stay walking in The Spirit renew my mind and remain faithful in my mind. I now choose to stay faithful as the sin that dwells in me (homosexual lust) can be resurrected if I allow lustful imaginings to comfort me by using this as a hiding place to appease pain like I did in those other circumstances. But this time I am going to walk through my perceived pain I am going to allow Him Lordship and I am going to believe; and this time I will put into action the counsel and truth I know to date and accept my reality.
I am going to see it through for I know He will transform my circumstances my troubled heart and this I KNOW FORSURE tomorrow will come to pass and I will make it through. I will come into destiny I will with Him on my side overcome the fear of stepping into destiny into ministry. I will win every battle every strategy the enemy brings against me to try to cause me to abort, to lose destiny, to give up and I will use it all for the Glory of God and the building up of the saints I am called to.
I will have friends that are like minded that I can visit and who want to visit me, I know He will work things out for my good and He has my best interest in His hands all the time. As for my flesh, I am going to choose life I am going to see my calling my ministry before my eyes and set them before my eyes and take a hold of His ways. I have come so far in sanctification so far in seperation for the call and I am at the threshold of me being in forefront ministy, so I am not going to abort it for the sake of lust of the mind for maybe, and who knows maybe, my whole body may follow my imaginations. I hope not and I believe not as I have made up my mind, but who knows "Therefore let him who thinks he/she stands take heed that he does not fall." (1 Corinthians 10:12)
I pray I will keep His Word before me "Now therefore, my sons/daughters, listen to me, and depart not from the words of my mouth. 8. Let your way in life be far from her, and come not near the door of her house [avoid every sense of temptation with her], 9. Least you give your honor to others and your years to those without mercy, 10. Lest strangers take their fill of your strength and wealth and your labors go to the house of an alien, 11. And you groan and mourn when your end comes, when your flesh and body are consumed, 12. And you say, How I hated instruction and discipline, and my heart despised reproof! 13. I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers nor submitted and consented to those who instructed me. 14. The extent of my sin my transgrassion involved almost all evil and is now before the congregation and the community." (Proverbs 5:7-14)
I am not going to take any bate of darkness with this woman or am I going to allow my flesh its lordship this time in lustful imaginations; not just for ministry reasons but for my spiritual and natural welfare and its too tough a battle and I have to come up higher in Him, I have to go through this to get to the next level. You know what I lasted 15 years without any sexual stimulation but I busted in 2011 and to put her back to sleep I had to do www.settingcaptivesfree.com to renew my mind again to Kingdom living, and to this I confess and I ask for your forgiveness.
So NO the enemy is not going to murder me at the threshold as for years I have been prepared for such a time as this. For years I have endured hardships and the training for reigning; then to forfiet it for their all out victory and lay in the arms of Venus while Cupid laughs at my expense, no way forget it, I break his arrow and refuse his spell. This thing or spirit envoked puts a spell and causes you to fall in love with someone you would not have even wanted and or considered and then laughs and how you have shamed yourself along the way as the spell is broken and you've come to your senses.
SO NO DEVIL I AM GOING TO STAY FAITHFUL TO HIM. I am taking my sword out of its sheath and I'm going to use it for the Glory of God and come against her spirits and any onset of suggestion. My flesh is going to submit to the Word, then having done all STAND and see the salvation of my soul and walk in His Light and walk in His power and walk in His Love then walk in the seduction of idol worship and self love.
"Don't give up on something you know God has for you. It’s difficult to wait, but worse to regret." [Paula White: Fb Jan. 2013]
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The words in italics I have added and if this is you or you are facing a temptation or even wanting to remain in your cave allow Him to minister whilst you read the following blog:
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"I was at the tail end of overcoming rejection (2006) with real heart felt and some imagined rejection by those in my church as in reality I was treated like the woman at the well (John 4:7-30). Then to add I wanted out of cleaning and I wanted so bad to be in teaching ministry before my appointed time so my mind was fragile.
With my feelings of bonds of isolation out of a rejection based wounding and feeling friendlessness and loneliness, bitterness, anger, disappointment and especially towards God and the Church I could stretch out my heart no more. Not only this but I was full of resentment for being a ‘bound’ mother a ‘bound’ paid house cleaner to school hours that had to pick up dog poo and this just overcame me to despondency and despair that I could not and did not want to function to rationale anything anymore.
In this time ‘of darkness’ I allowed myself to yield to temptations of demonic activity by listening to their suggestions about a particular woman who I cleaned for. I still believed a lie, an un-renewed mindset that she was the ‘type’ of woman that would be a stumbling block if I ever allowed myself to go into that strain of thought so I diligently avoided it until my ‘hour’ of despondency.
I now see that mindset is still part of the deception of demons to maintain the mindset in a homosexual ‘savor’ and viewpoint, not in the renewed mindset or a heterosexual mindset and a new creature in Christ mindset or being that was what I once was and no longer am (1 Corinthians 6:9, 10:7) ......... "I'm not the girl I used to be my life has been rearranged."
For ten years I resisted and cast down all homosexual thoughts knowing I could not go there, my sexual appetite had to go to sleep – ‘sleeping beauty had to stay asleep’ but this time life just ‘sucked’ so off in my thoughts I went with devils and enjoyed the thoughts and thats only where they went as thoughts, my hands did not follow.
I had no idea it would last so long and be such a struggle and strain and battle to get out it. I have also seen just denying the past does not heal the inner woman also I never approached this woman I cleaned for with a renewed mind of I’m no longer a homosexual but I am a heterosexual on a complete pathway of healing. I was once an alcoholic and pot addict, but I had not identified with these labels for years but what the Word speaks, so I never applied this truth to the label of a lesbian.
This is the major reason why I have written this book (Understanding and Overcoming Homosexuality) for teaching and counsel to help myself out of the demonic net that I have allowed myself to be caught in (July 2006). I have only allowed it to be in my head, it was never a condition I let get married to the heart and I knew in my heart I did not even sexually want or desire to have sex with this woman. I saw it as if I was listening to someone read me a story in a place of escape and I’m listening and delighting it the tale told and the responses it gave my body and soul and senses in the fantasy.
Little did I know these repetitive thoughts from the enemy built up control and a pattern
that set off behavior making me dysfunctional powerless and feeling guilty. Left much longer and all they will have to do is suggest a thought, not a running commentary and it will trigger their built up mindsets and off will go my own flesh into thoughts. Truth is I unknowingly allowed a stronghold to capture my mind so my ability to think freely was hindered by them and this.
But any stronghold has a life of its own and all strongholds will die and or can be brought to death; habits, patterns, thoughts can change and be renewed, removed and refined. Jesus can resurrect me back into a new way of life and into the life I was born to be as a heterosexual. Repentance is a powerful weapon for spirits losing ground, but the flesh has to come into submission to holiness and Christianity as a way of life. Replacing the stronghold of thoughts with Biblical truth I will gain strength and trust and counsel and newness and cleansing from the Word to not digest them any more.
I have deeply repented of every known sin; even covered again, sexual sins of the ancestors in case of any hidden demons were remaining so as to cleanse me from any lust spirits. I realize where there are still demons/spirits connected and related to this nest due to being lodged deep in the old ‘homosexual / fragmented personality’ or from the off shoots to other transgressions around this lifestyle I’ll trust in The Lords restoration and grace and discernment of spirits.
I will rest in Him to bring more restoration sanctification, and change my stoney heart to a heart of flesh to deliver me from these rotten fruits and unhealed pain. I've since seen (2012) the drawing I had to red headed women had not been healed or seen as to why I was attracted to red hair, now that it is brought into the light it no longer has any power over me or will I allow it power again.
..... some examples of fruit(s) of the root and or the power base of my homosexuality were: masculinity - role reversal, considering self to be equal to a man, doing motor bike mechanics, being butch in appearance, building in renovation, owning and using numerous power tools, feminism, self survival, independence, not wearing dresses, fear of men, hatred of men and their sins against women, anger and unforgiveness against male race in general, refusal to come into divine order of heterosexuality, agreement with the transgression of a preference to a homosexual lifestyle than a heterosexual lifestyle. I still have fragments dislodging out of my heart (2006), but most others are no longer have power over me. These were only some of the sins that empowered homosexuality and its strongman in my life the others I have written in my book.
These types of sins empower the stronghold for demons to traffic and manifest and keep me in bondage to homosexuality, out of divine order of the natural role/place of a female. I’ve screamed at Him, The Father that is, in contempt every time my anger at men came up and my anger about the firstborn/men and a Patriarchal system. He is sorting out my heart and errors in a book I am writing “To A Thousand Generations of Women” which I was called to write from the womb of my mother and His truth is setting me free.
There would be spirits from the causations and any fruit from sex addiction and other drug addictions in the fabric of my personality, I’ll trust in Jesus for continued restoration and deliverance and to keep these from operating against me with bringing back temptations of lust and the delusion of preference of that lifestyle until deeper restoration and sanctification comes.
Anyway, for those demons that operate directly around fantasy and lust I know once having overcome them for ten years. I can overcome them again and then keep a guard over my heart to not let them in again. So I will continue seeking change, restoration, renewal, sanctification and healing of memories or whatever else is needed for complete wholeness in this area.
I am not going to deceive myself in thinking I can stay cleaning for this woman (August 2006) as I work for her four times a week and her daughter once a week, it will make the battle for me to long. And above all I need a change out of this repetitive boredom and her home environment. My right eye has made me stumble, so I have to tear it out. By stopping cleaning for her household this for me is to tear out my right eye (Matthew 5:29).
Most of all I see I am unhappy about my current perceptions of life in general and my mind is bored and I need to be real and find something to fill it other than listening to demonic lustful fantasy. My writings can occupy my mind and my relationship with God in three persons. Although I need balance being body soul and spirit, I will need to feed myself here to avoid a void again.
Not only do I need to address this stronghold from a lust perspective but from all the other angles that precipitated the stronghold. I need to address the pain within the pains that precipitated me to yield to the lust to yield to listen to the demons scenarios of fantasy.
I had to first repent for my original warfaring in the flesh as a partial reason for their on sets of such a strategy as I attacked a tormenting lust stronghold over her life. In any demonic work against us, we always have to consider is this His permissive will for it to happen other than we may well of brought it upon ourselves. Sometimes He wants to get from the fruit to the root and bring forth a new or another stage of healing so out come the demons to wage warfare against us, not that He instrumented it but is allowing its full force.
I also needed to address myself being empty in the mind at the best of times; being bored; my disappointments and the false comfort of depression; unforgiveness; bitterness; not walking out of a renewed mind or walking in His counsel and my writings. My loneliness, my friendlessness my despair because I am a house cleaner who picks up dog poop, a bound mother who could only work in school hours with just enough money and who was shunned by the church at large for my past brokeness.
I had to realize the stronghold of isolation/separation with the excuse I have a call to write books and people reject me and seldom do I get asked to go here or there or am I asked out by anyone or within the inner circles so I might as well get used to being alone. I had to realize isolation has become a way of escape due to perceived and real rejection from others in the Church.
This has been a major pain of the heart that caused me to go off in the pleasure of fantasy. For too long I have been battling the roller coaster of feelings from being shunned, or avoided or not hugged because I was once homosexual, I so want to connect. I am on a pathway of healing from rejection’s sting, from before being in the Church and then I’d come so far and bang, I’m a heap of emotions again “wrecked by rejection” as someone once coined it. But again the fog is rapidly moving and I am seeing once again blue sky and realizing I am in the process of knowledge crossing over from my head to my heart. It was only in December 2011 that I saw I was completely healed and had overcome all rejection, now those in the church can shun me reject me and not invite me and I am honestly not moved, my heart has been changed, He did it.
I also had to address my warped view of feeling powerless over God and His ways and requirements. No longer able to be independent and self sufficient, no longer in control of my life - I could not just over spend, watch M 15+ rated movies as He willed for me to watch PG and G Movies only. No longer did He want me to watch CSI or other TV crime shows. I thought all this change to step into a high call and all I could watch was Christian TV, Christian TV and more Christian TV – God this, God that, religion here and religion there – well what about pleasure for my soul God, I get none and have none other than all the holiness You want for me?
The mind swaying in and out of, it’s so painful to embrace a surrendered life of walking in The Spirit on the highway of holiness with loss of ‘my rights’ and no pleasure for my soul. It’s always God this God that, religion here, religion there, no love of the world anymore, no lusts for my flesh, no more me just You God. I don’t see this life as joyous dedication; I don’t see Christianity as a wonderful life of worship, but a prison I’m in chains to righteousness! I must add these thoughts are so distorted by ignorance and demons and the flesh forgetting how blessed it is to walk under the anointing than under the power of the flesh and demonic activity.
I have just started now in the strength of The Lord to bring down this stronghold of lusting thoughts. The following is what I am praying daily in purity of warfare and or by the breath of The Holy Spirit out of my mouth against the onsets of demons that will to want to keep this stronghold alive.
I pray first in my heart requesting this strategy and ask for the anointing of warfare and a Spirit of purity of warfare (Matthew 12:28), so He does the speaking out of my mouth. I yield myself as if I’m going to pray in tongues only He prays in my language of English to warfare to speak forth the following:
“Father,
In the power and authority of the name of Jesus I pull down the stronghold of homosexuality. I bind the strongmen in and over your daughter and in the heavenlies and in the name of Jesus I command every link in their chains of command be broken so they cannot link up with one another and empower one another.
Father I command warfare against these spirits, I command they be consumed with might and brought down with might each and every time they wisper or manifest in homosexual lust and perversion.
Father in the power and authority of the name of Jesus, let this warfare be operative until warfare is prayed again tomorrow and I loose your warring angels to carry out these commands.
Amen and amen.
The fruit of a demonic stronghold are the various specific sins and these give the demons a power base to be operative and keep us in bondage. Therefore it keeps us out of divine order and out of ‘the natural’ ordained function role of a woman and or man when we are committing unnatural sexual perversion.
I realize I now have to no longer identify in my mind as being a vulnerable ‘ex-homosexual’ but what the Word speaks to say I am, a new creature having put on Christ and being renewed in the spirit of my mind. Most of all I have to go back and embrace a surrendered life again, dependant on Christ Jesus as my Helper and Lord and Companion who can change my heart and my circumstances and counsel and meet me in my times of pain.
I have to embrace a crucified life again in Him and this will be put to death and He will reveal my personal power base of sin that mothers the stronghold of my flesh that gives the demonic the right and want to maintain this stronghold. I need to face my pain, face my reality and know that it will not be like this forever. I need to get honest and allow Him to show me my heart invite Him in and choose life and remain faithful.
By decision I am to no longer be engaging in lustful fruit as a way of escape and or its temptations, no longer letting that way of thoughts have dominion, taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ Jesus and trusting He will deliver me from evil and counsel my heart because my flesh has now bonded to iniquity. Also I am to no longer watch any movie that have any homosexual overtones or any hint of lesbianism or fornication that would provoke desire in my mind and or cause a hightened sensuality.
I walk away from it, making my mind up to not allow my mind to go that way again. Just as I gave up smoking, I walked away from it with a conscious decision to never pick up a smoke again.
Strongholds are breeding grounds for the carnal nature and demons. Sinful flesh structures around then demons are around; then under this stronghold we are forced to walk in the flesh because of the barrage of the spirits, their powers, and our agreement with our flesh, therefore, coming under the condemnation of the law (Galatians 5:18) for we are no longer walking in The Spirit.
Living a crucified life and not yielding to these works and dependence on Jesus not myself to not yield will break the hold of this fantasy sin in my flesh. This will enable me not to be overcome by this stronghold again and or to be ensnared again in a yoke of bondage (Galatians 5:1) of lustful thoughts as a way of escape of painful circumstances.
I will then be again going back to birthing more and more into a lifestyle of walking and living in The Spirit. I will be once again dependant on Jesus provision and power and being once again in submission to His commandment of not yielding my body as an instrument of unrighteousness (Romans 6:6-16).
Being willing and even being willing to be made willing if this is where you are at; This will bring me back under a spiritual covering of protection (Psalm 91) and authority in the Spirit to resist in His strength at any onset of temptation or to have perpetual warfare against any attacks so I can just stand and get on with my day serving Him and receiving covenant provision and protection than entertaining their imaginations."
Be blessed and be a blessing
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Triumphant Ministries Toowoomba - Releasing Hearts
It is six years later since I wrote what I put in this blog I wrote below. Six years on I have learnt much, healed much and been sanctified much. However in 2011, I allowed my mind to go into a stronghold of fantasy for a few months and when I removed myself from employment it ceased.
Whew this was a strong work/attack of darkness new to me; I knew this, felt this and discerned this but did not know the strength of it, but in two minds about it I did not fight it so I received it. It is like a spell of passion over you, its so supernatural that your bewitched and become awakened. And of course it's strengthened because you/I yielded to the imaginations as you/I allowed the desire of homosexual lust to rule from listening to the spirits scenarios of fantasy offered with a same sex person "But every man/woman is tempted, when he/she is drawn away of his/her own lust, and enticed." (James 1:14).
But with any supernatural work they have to have grounds or inroads to onset strongly and that's why we yield to their temptations to their works and receive them for they've got either unknown doors, flight cycles and unsanctified flesh to come in on us. Its not just desire for same sex encounter that they come against us, their door can be a familiar flight cycle as in isolation, loneliness, depression with sleep. Therefore when we are in these caves they want to furnish it with homosexual lust to fortify their existing fort. And it is here we use the comfort of this temptation even though we don't want it, but it elevates the isolation, loneliness, depression or whatever is your stronghold your familiar way of coping when its all too much.
I can truthfully say I did not in my heart or my head want or even desire this 27 year old woman or did I like her as a person - at all, it was just a way of escape with a supernatural intensity I enjoyed. Ephesians 2:1-2 has an application - its a sin war of the flesh and evil spirits influenced by the world we live in. Yes my ego liked it that someone wanted me sexually, so I allowed a stronghold of lust to comfort me and because of my unmet deeper needs and unsanctified flesh I ran with sin energy, to this I ask you to forgive me I repent.
Anyway of late in 2012 I wavered yet this time I did not allow myself to fully digest their temptations and senarios. Yes homosexual lust with this woman was desirable because of unhealed or unseen drawing to her red hair, a want for company with an intelligent woman and I guess an admiration that she was a professional woman coupled with my perceived reality / pain.
But the truth was her and I had very very little in common and we travelled to the beat of a different drum, we lived in two seperate worlds/realms and never the twain would meet. Regardless that she gave spirits opportunity for a supernatural strategy against me because of her sensuous seductive actions towards me I should have put them to flight, released judgment against them but I was enticed by the lust in my own flesh.
Therefore she can not be blamed as she was only acting accordingly to how a worldly woman would act; and the real truth is they had rights to link up with what was still in me, you could say her unclean spirits had attraction to my unclean spirits. I have now realized that I can cast them out but until I come up higher and my personality is changed for they are intertwined in it, they will only return and months or years away I will be back in a stronghold of fantasy of homosexual lust again.
Anyway given this truth and her red hair, intelligence and my admiration for her I entertained their woman to woman imaginations with my homosexual lust - the lust of my flesh and the unhealed hidden issues that were drawing me to desire her. I had not obeyed Him or processed my emotional pain but instead wallowing in self-pity for months so any wonder I entertained their imaginations. But truth is because of my lust that I refused to keep sanctified or had I chosen to keep off the homosexual cloak they knew they could reinforce their works for my flesh to waver.
PROPHETICALLY TAKE OFF THE CLOAK, THROW IT IN THE FIRE OF THE LIVING GOD. All of that old lifestyle has to come away; yes it's a process, yet there comes a time when you have to disguard that cloak totally, stop your flirting, stop luring with seduction, stop using magnetism and charisma for power, stop dressing like you belong to the devil, stop eating the unclean things through your eyes.
Ephesians 2:1-3 sums up this reality for its the warfare of our flesh, unclean spirits infulenced by the world we live in, and the truth is we are in a sin war. "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons/daughters of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest." (Ephesians 2:1-2)
So I had to battle the sorcery the attacks of darkness and deal with the lust of woman to woman and not that I really wanted her, again it is just the delight of woman on woman presented by spirits that I had to batte. Anyway this time I knew what I was up against, this time I was able to differentiate my flesh to their powers on both sides; that is her spirits in and over her - mate she has high rank in ancestral spirits. I knew this time their powers once fully accepted what buzz and bondage this would do to me if I fully intertwined and ran with them. This time I knew they would work on my mind to validate and solidify their dececption.
I know now the more you listen to spirits they will cause you to fancy someone that you don't truly in reality even want or who are/were your type. Or would you, have had you not allowed yourself to be bewitched (Galatians 3:1), you would never even have considered intimacy with her/them, you would have been able to say no to your flesh, therefore rebuke them on their onsets and don't go there.
Listen, they cause so much delusion when you entertain them and look they will have you having sex together jumping from a plane, doing it on the top of Mount Everest. This is a picture of the extreme deception, the delusion they come up with, and its absurd - you have to learn to know their thoughts from your own and warfare against them in The Person of The Holy Spirit right on their onsets.
Truth is delusions/fantasy never comes into reality, and they never can as it is created by imaginations of darkness and in the end you will not know what is truth and what is false. If you know this and are using spirits as toys to play with just to entertain your mind and body then this is spiritual adultery and we then come under Romans 1:21-31 and will become bonded to a debased tormented mind reeling in unreality.
Now it is January 2013 and I am feeling sorry for myself sick of the same ole same ole pining and the enemies thoughts are knocking at my door as in my employed work a woman who has sex addiction finds me attractive and desirable. But this time I know the battle, the sin war of the world we live in / job, the homosexual lust in my flesh and these spirits. Consider this scripture reveals the reality of spirits of darkness "Now the Holy Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils/spirits;" 1 Timothy 4:1
This time my ego does not need pampering and I know how much I am accepted and loved by Jesus and I know its not about the sex it is not what I need. This time I know I am in pain, this time I know better and this time I am not answering the door at all, full stop, no way. I want to love her alright, love her to Jesus and take her to His bed chambers and allow His love to flow through me that she may be set free, and I am in prayer on how to impact her life.
This time I have learnt that when this comes against me I am to put direct boundaries around them, around the she, and in The Spirit so it comes with sin conviction to the she. Therefore I have said to her NO, no don't even consider it, don't even go there behave yourself, I am a committed Christian and that is what I once was I am no longer deep down that girl I used to be. I have homosexual lust but I do not want to allow it to have life or lordship over me and I understand your sex addiction I've been there. Thankyou but I am staying with Jesus and it is only Jesus who can bring you out of your sexual addiction and love you to wholeness. She is in her forties and is gorgeous and very sexy, but I am not moved or do I even find her desirable, for all I can see is a broken woman whom Jesus loves and wants to heal and who belongs to Him.
I do believe in my heart I do not want to be literally physically intimate with any woman per se, for I want to remain faithful and stay in Christ and become more than I am today. As for my flight cycles, my flesh, my imaginations they still need sanctifying and The Truth is perverse thoughts into fantasy are a transgression so my mind has yet to come into 100 % agreement with His Word and no longer use their fanasty lust as a way of escape for an anaesthetic that it awakens homosexual lust in my flesh.
And I don't stress over this stuff, and likewise you, don't stress over the homosexual lust, it's there and remember healing is a process, a journey, as is restoration and sanctification the walk of holiness. We have enough "hurdles and hardships" without getting stressed over no control over our thoughts. The enemy loves to give the thoughts then loves to bring a spirit of condemnation, guilt and even suicide "I dont want to live anymore" "I don't care if I died today" "I just want to die." The devil is a liar, Jesus loves us, understands us, heals us, and walks us through every obstacle and we get stronger and born again, we do make it through every cry, yes we do make it through.
We know supernatural imaginations are a set up from darkness to try and take us back literally to our past way of life so lighten up. God will use this to expose their grounds and to take us to the threshing floor until we get stronger in the battle that the enemy no longer has wide and easy inroads. And He uses these works to do a deeper work in us, and yes He can chastise us more mature ones through it so we don't want to go back into that cave and refurnish it to partake of the rotten fruits. Truth is He is kind and loving and understanding God , but He is also Holy and the Sanctifier of our soul to bring us into holiness and a life of puriety (1 Corinthians 7:1).
Regardless at how far I have come in holiness or at what degree I have entertained imaginations this time I refuse to go back into a strong grip a spiritual power grip over my mind. I refuse to allow again any grip by giving into my flesh to give spirits of darkness a stronghold for it is so much work to get out of them and these powers can awaken to sexual desire and torment the mind that there is less freedom in thoughts.
TRUTH IS THE ROAD TO RECOVERY IS HARD, THE WORK REQUIRED TO BECOME A MINISTER OF THE GOSPEL IS ALSO HARD, BUT WE DO NOT WANT TO FORFEIT IT BY GIVING UP BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A HARD ROAD.
Therefore this is why I am reading and reposting so as to confess and repent to God and before you. Milk the moment for others then I can stay strong, stay in His Presence, stay walking in The Spirit renew my mind and remain faithful in my mind. I now choose to stay faithful as the sin that dwells in me (homosexual lust) can be resurrected if I allow lustful imaginings to comfort me by using this as a hiding place to appease pain like I did in those other circumstances. But this time I am going to walk through my perceived pain I am going to allow Him Lordship and I am going to believe; and this time I will put into action the counsel and truth I know to date and accept my reality.
I am going to see it through for I know He will transform my circumstances my troubled heart and this I KNOW FORSURE tomorrow will come to pass and I will make it through. I will come into destiny I will with Him on my side overcome the fear of stepping into destiny into ministry. I will win every battle every strategy the enemy brings against me to try to cause me to abort, to lose destiny, to give up and I will use it all for the Glory of God and the building up of the saints I am called to.
I will have friends that are like minded that I can visit and who want to visit me, I know He will work things out for my good and He has my best interest in His hands all the time. As for my flesh, I am going to choose life I am going to see my calling my ministry before my eyes and set them before my eyes and take a hold of His ways. I have come so far in sanctification so far in seperation for the call and I am at the threshold of me being in forefront ministy, so I am not going to abort it for the sake of lust of the mind for maybe, and who knows maybe, my whole body may follow my imaginations. I hope not and I believe not as I have made up my mind, but who knows "Therefore let him who thinks he/she stands take heed that he does not fall." (1 Corinthians 10:12)
I pray I will keep His Word before me "Now therefore, my sons/daughters, listen to me, and depart not from the words of my mouth. 8. Let your way in life be far from her, and come not near the door of her house [avoid every sense of temptation with her], 9. Least you give your honor to others and your years to those without mercy, 10. Lest strangers take their fill of your strength and wealth and your labors go to the house of an alien, 11. And you groan and mourn when your end comes, when your flesh and body are consumed, 12. And you say, How I hated instruction and discipline, and my heart despised reproof! 13. I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers nor submitted and consented to those who instructed me. 14. The extent of my sin my transgrassion involved almost all evil and is now before the congregation and the community." (Proverbs 5:7-14)
I am not going to take any bate of darkness with this woman or am I going to allow my flesh its lordship this time in lustful imaginations; not just for ministry reasons but for my spiritual and natural welfare and its too tough a battle and I have to come up higher in Him, I have to go through this to get to the next level. You know what I lasted 15 years without any sexual stimulation but I busted in 2011 and to put her back to sleep I had to do www.settingcaptivesfree.com to renew my mind again to Kingdom living, and to this I confess and I ask for your forgiveness.
So NO the enemy is not going to murder me at the threshold as for years I have been prepared for such a time as this. For years I have endured hardships and the training for reigning; then to forfiet it for their all out victory and lay in the arms of Venus while Cupid laughs at my expense, no way forget it, I break his arrow and refuse his spell. This thing or spirit envoked puts a spell and causes you to fall in love with someone you would not have even wanted and or considered and then laughs and how you have shamed yourself along the way as the spell is broken and you've come to your senses.
SO NO DEVIL I AM GOING TO STAY FAITHFUL TO HIM. I am taking my sword out of its sheath and I'm going to use it for the Glory of God and come against her spirits and any onset of suggestion. My flesh is going to submit to the Word, then having done all STAND and see the salvation of my soul and walk in His Light and walk in His power and walk in His Love then walk in the seduction of idol worship and self love.
"Don't give up on something you know God has for you. It’s difficult to wait, but worse to regret." [Paula White: Fb Jan. 2013]
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The words in italics I have added and if this is you or you are facing a temptation or even wanting to remain in your cave allow Him to minister whilst you read the following blog:
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"I was at the tail end of overcoming rejection (2006) with real heart felt and some imagined rejection by those in my church as in reality I was treated like the woman at the well (John 4:7-30). Then to add I wanted out of cleaning and I wanted so bad to be in teaching ministry before my appointed time so my mind was fragile.
With my feelings of bonds of isolation out of a rejection based wounding and feeling friendlessness and loneliness, bitterness, anger, disappointment and especially towards God and the Church I could stretch out my heart no more. Not only this but I was full of resentment for being a ‘bound’ mother a ‘bound’ paid house cleaner to school hours that had to pick up dog poo and this just overcame me to despondency and despair that I could not and did not want to function to rationale anything anymore.
In this time ‘of darkness’ I allowed myself to yield to temptations of demonic activity by listening to their suggestions about a particular woman who I cleaned for. I still believed a lie, an un-renewed mindset that she was the ‘type’ of woman that would be a stumbling block if I ever allowed myself to go into that strain of thought so I diligently avoided it until my ‘hour’ of despondency.
I now see that mindset is still part of the deception of demons to maintain the mindset in a homosexual ‘savor’ and viewpoint, not in the renewed mindset or a heterosexual mindset and a new creature in Christ mindset or being that was what I once was and no longer am (1 Corinthians 6:9, 10:7) ......... "I'm not the girl I used to be my life has been rearranged."
For ten years I resisted and cast down all homosexual thoughts knowing I could not go there, my sexual appetite had to go to sleep – ‘sleeping beauty had to stay asleep’ but this time life just ‘sucked’ so off in my thoughts I went with devils and enjoyed the thoughts and thats only where they went as thoughts, my hands did not follow.
I had no idea it would last so long and be such a struggle and strain and battle to get out it. I have also seen just denying the past does not heal the inner woman also I never approached this woman I cleaned for with a renewed mind of I’m no longer a homosexual but I am a heterosexual on a complete pathway of healing. I was once an alcoholic and pot addict, but I had not identified with these labels for years but what the Word speaks, so I never applied this truth to the label of a lesbian.
This is the major reason why I have written this book (Understanding and Overcoming Homosexuality) for teaching and counsel to help myself out of the demonic net that I have allowed myself to be caught in (July 2006). I have only allowed it to be in my head, it was never a condition I let get married to the heart and I knew in my heart I did not even sexually want or desire to have sex with this woman. I saw it as if I was listening to someone read me a story in a place of escape and I’m listening and delighting it the tale told and the responses it gave my body and soul and senses in the fantasy.
Little did I know these repetitive thoughts from the enemy built up control and a pattern
that set off behavior making me dysfunctional powerless and feeling guilty. Left much longer and all they will have to do is suggest a thought, not a running commentary and it will trigger their built up mindsets and off will go my own flesh into thoughts. Truth is I unknowingly allowed a stronghold to capture my mind so my ability to think freely was hindered by them and this.
But any stronghold has a life of its own and all strongholds will die and or can be brought to death; habits, patterns, thoughts can change and be renewed, removed and refined. Jesus can resurrect me back into a new way of life and into the life I was born to be as a heterosexual. Repentance is a powerful weapon for spirits losing ground, but the flesh has to come into submission to holiness and Christianity as a way of life. Replacing the stronghold of thoughts with Biblical truth I will gain strength and trust and counsel and newness and cleansing from the Word to not digest them any more.
I have deeply repented of every known sin; even covered again, sexual sins of the ancestors in case of any hidden demons were remaining so as to cleanse me from any lust spirits. I realize where there are still demons/spirits connected and related to this nest due to being lodged deep in the old ‘homosexual / fragmented personality’ or from the off shoots to other transgressions around this lifestyle I’ll trust in The Lords restoration and grace and discernment of spirits.
I will rest in Him to bring more restoration sanctification, and change my stoney heart to a heart of flesh to deliver me from these rotten fruits and unhealed pain. I've since seen (2012) the drawing I had to red headed women had not been healed or seen as to why I was attracted to red hair, now that it is brought into the light it no longer has any power over me or will I allow it power again.
..... some examples of fruit(s) of the root and or the power base of my homosexuality were: masculinity - role reversal, considering self to be equal to a man, doing motor bike mechanics, being butch in appearance, building in renovation, owning and using numerous power tools, feminism, self survival, independence, not wearing dresses, fear of men, hatred of men and their sins against women, anger and unforgiveness against male race in general, refusal to come into divine order of heterosexuality, agreement with the transgression of a preference to a homosexual lifestyle than a heterosexual lifestyle. I still have fragments dislodging out of my heart (2006), but most others are no longer have power over me. These were only some of the sins that empowered homosexuality and its strongman in my life the others I have written in my book.
These types of sins empower the stronghold for demons to traffic and manifest and keep me in bondage to homosexuality, out of divine order of the natural role/place of a female. I’ve screamed at Him, The Father that is, in contempt every time my anger at men came up and my anger about the firstborn/men and a Patriarchal system. He is sorting out my heart and errors in a book I am writing “To A Thousand Generations of Women” which I was called to write from the womb of my mother and His truth is setting me free.
There would be spirits from the causations and any fruit from sex addiction and other drug addictions in the fabric of my personality, I’ll trust in Jesus for continued restoration and deliverance and to keep these from operating against me with bringing back temptations of lust and the delusion of preference of that lifestyle until deeper restoration and sanctification comes.
Anyway, for those demons that operate directly around fantasy and lust I know once having overcome them for ten years. I can overcome them again and then keep a guard over my heart to not let them in again. So I will continue seeking change, restoration, renewal, sanctification and healing of memories or whatever else is needed for complete wholeness in this area.
I am not going to deceive myself in thinking I can stay cleaning for this woman (August 2006) as I work for her four times a week and her daughter once a week, it will make the battle for me to long. And above all I need a change out of this repetitive boredom and her home environment. My right eye has made me stumble, so I have to tear it out. By stopping cleaning for her household this for me is to tear out my right eye (Matthew 5:29).
Most of all I see I am unhappy about my current perceptions of life in general and my mind is bored and I need to be real and find something to fill it other than listening to demonic lustful fantasy. My writings can occupy my mind and my relationship with God in three persons. Although I need balance being body soul and spirit, I will need to feed myself here to avoid a void again.
Not only do I need to address this stronghold from a lust perspective but from all the other angles that precipitated the stronghold. I need to address the pain within the pains that precipitated me to yield to the lust to yield to listen to the demons scenarios of fantasy.
I had to first repent for my original warfaring in the flesh as a partial reason for their on sets of such a strategy as I attacked a tormenting lust stronghold over her life. In any demonic work against us, we always have to consider is this His permissive will for it to happen other than we may well of brought it upon ourselves. Sometimes He wants to get from the fruit to the root and bring forth a new or another stage of healing so out come the demons to wage warfare against us, not that He instrumented it but is allowing its full force.
I also needed to address myself being empty in the mind at the best of times; being bored; my disappointments and the false comfort of depression; unforgiveness; bitterness; not walking out of a renewed mind or walking in His counsel and my writings. My loneliness, my friendlessness my despair because I am a house cleaner who picks up dog poop, a bound mother who could only work in school hours with just enough money and who was shunned by the church at large for my past brokeness.
I had to realize the stronghold of isolation/separation with the excuse I have a call to write books and people reject me and seldom do I get asked to go here or there or am I asked out by anyone or within the inner circles so I might as well get used to being alone. I had to realize isolation has become a way of escape due to perceived and real rejection from others in the Church.
This has been a major pain of the heart that caused me to go off in the pleasure of fantasy. For too long I have been battling the roller coaster of feelings from being shunned, or avoided or not hugged because I was once homosexual, I so want to connect. I am on a pathway of healing from rejection’s sting, from before being in the Church and then I’d come so far and bang, I’m a heap of emotions again “wrecked by rejection” as someone once coined it. But again the fog is rapidly moving and I am seeing once again blue sky and realizing I am in the process of knowledge crossing over from my head to my heart. It was only in December 2011 that I saw I was completely healed and had overcome all rejection, now those in the church can shun me reject me and not invite me and I am honestly not moved, my heart has been changed, He did it.
I also had to address my warped view of feeling powerless over God and His ways and requirements. No longer able to be independent and self sufficient, no longer in control of my life - I could not just over spend, watch M 15+ rated movies as He willed for me to watch PG and G Movies only. No longer did He want me to watch CSI or other TV crime shows. I thought all this change to step into a high call and all I could watch was Christian TV, Christian TV and more Christian TV – God this, God that, religion here and religion there – well what about pleasure for my soul God, I get none and have none other than all the holiness You want for me?
The mind swaying in and out of, it’s so painful to embrace a surrendered life of walking in The Spirit on the highway of holiness with loss of ‘my rights’ and no pleasure for my soul. It’s always God this God that, religion here, religion there, no love of the world anymore, no lusts for my flesh, no more me just You God. I don’t see this life as joyous dedication; I don’t see Christianity as a wonderful life of worship, but a prison I’m in chains to righteousness! I must add these thoughts are so distorted by ignorance and demons and the flesh forgetting how blessed it is to walk under the anointing than under the power of the flesh and demonic activity.
I have just started now in the strength of The Lord to bring down this stronghold of lusting thoughts. The following is what I am praying daily in purity of warfare and or by the breath of The Holy Spirit out of my mouth against the onsets of demons that will to want to keep this stronghold alive.
I pray first in my heart requesting this strategy and ask for the anointing of warfare and a Spirit of purity of warfare (Matthew 12:28), so He does the speaking out of my mouth. I yield myself as if I’m going to pray in tongues only He prays in my language of English to warfare to speak forth the following:
“Father,
In the power and authority of the name of Jesus I pull down the stronghold of homosexuality. I bind the strongmen in and over your daughter and in the heavenlies and in the name of Jesus I command every link in their chains of command be broken so they cannot link up with one another and empower one another.
Father I command warfare against these spirits, I command they be consumed with might and brought down with might each and every time they wisper or manifest in homosexual lust and perversion.
Father in the power and authority of the name of Jesus, let this warfare be operative until warfare is prayed again tomorrow and I loose your warring angels to carry out these commands.
Amen and amen.
The fruit of a demonic stronghold are the various specific sins and these give the demons a power base to be operative and keep us in bondage. Therefore it keeps us out of divine order and out of ‘the natural’ ordained function role of a woman and or man when we are committing unnatural sexual perversion.
I realize I now have to no longer identify in my mind as being a vulnerable ‘ex-homosexual’ but what the Word speaks to say I am, a new creature having put on Christ and being renewed in the spirit of my mind. Most of all I have to go back and embrace a surrendered life again, dependant on Christ Jesus as my Helper and Lord and Companion who can change my heart and my circumstances and counsel and meet me in my times of pain.
I have to embrace a crucified life again in Him and this will be put to death and He will reveal my personal power base of sin that mothers the stronghold of my flesh that gives the demonic the right and want to maintain this stronghold. I need to face my pain, face my reality and know that it will not be like this forever. I need to get honest and allow Him to show me my heart invite Him in and choose life and remain faithful.
By decision I am to no longer be engaging in lustful fruit as a way of escape and or its temptations, no longer letting that way of thoughts have dominion, taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ Jesus and trusting He will deliver me from evil and counsel my heart because my flesh has now bonded to iniquity. Also I am to no longer watch any movie that have any homosexual overtones or any hint of lesbianism or fornication that would provoke desire in my mind and or cause a hightened sensuality.
I walk away from it, making my mind up to not allow my mind to go that way again. Just as I gave up smoking, I walked away from it with a conscious decision to never pick up a smoke again.
Strongholds are breeding grounds for the carnal nature and demons. Sinful flesh structures around then demons are around; then under this stronghold we are forced to walk in the flesh because of the barrage of the spirits, their powers, and our agreement with our flesh, therefore, coming under the condemnation of the law (Galatians 5:18) for we are no longer walking in The Spirit.
Living a crucified life and not yielding to these works and dependence on Jesus not myself to not yield will break the hold of this fantasy sin in my flesh. This will enable me not to be overcome by this stronghold again and or to be ensnared again in a yoke of bondage (Galatians 5:1) of lustful thoughts as a way of escape of painful circumstances.
I will then be again going back to birthing more and more into a lifestyle of walking and living in The Spirit. I will be once again dependant on Jesus provision and power and being once again in submission to His commandment of not yielding my body as an instrument of unrighteousness (Romans 6:6-16).
Being willing and even being willing to be made willing if this is where you are at; This will bring me back under a spiritual covering of protection (Psalm 91) and authority in the Spirit to resist in His strength at any onset of temptation or to have perpetual warfare against any attacks so I can just stand and get on with my day serving Him and receiving covenant provision and protection than entertaining their imaginations."
Be blessed and be a blessing
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