“Oh, but you don’t know!” “Oh yes, I do know!!!” I have had to write my way out of the offense and if you think that being a minister with a global face is a joy ride, it's not!!!
I know the pain of church women in this country town of rejection, their righteous judgments, no acceptance, no true love, no friends and I mean no friends knocking at my door to drop in for coffee!!! Then, I have never been asked to do communion, and I feel tolerated than celebrated in my church home and my pastor's wife refuses to befriend me on Facebook.
To add, I have never been asked to date to speak at a conference or my own church or churches in my town, and maybe it's because of the L word, Lesbian? I don't fully understand as I believe what this ministry has is amazing and so much to offer, let alone for me to have accomplished this is just "Wow." I tell you this, change is around the corner for I will not settle for anything but the prophetic call on my life. So this means I will have to make changes to myself, my perception and take my power back and renew my mind, then that is what will be done.
It has been nearly twenty years of renewal and restoration and commitment to Discipleship, and I believe in myself and the call on my life. 1996 I started writing my restoration and launched this ministry in 2009. I’ve raised it up from the ground regardless of the obstacles to obey the call on my life.
I look good online with a global face, but the disappointment has been and still is unbelievable. Sure stats are good on this blog site, yes real good, but I can get saddened when those in my own ranks in this nation are not sharing or commenting. I ask myself, is it because of the demon content of my blogs, the exposure of them or do I think it is great stuff when it is not? So what does this say and what am I to think?
So yes I know the pain from my own perception of other Christians. Those who say they walk in the Spirit and those who have authority over me. I ran into a former teacher I sat under the other day and felt sick in the guts for days after seeing her; she had to bring up the same subject, Kath your are wrong and I am right!!! (women coving their heads with veil) I know the pain from those who say they walk in the same calling, from those who say they are for you. Those who are supposed to love you and see you come up higher and Pastors who should reach out to you and don't.
“Yes I know” hurt and pain from the church people, church leaders. Much has hurt me over many years, but I could not and cannot stay in this hurt and neither can you yet I believe in feeling than stuffing it down.
Truth is, we have to move on and overcome and get to the heart attitude. Realize that no church exists without sinners who will continue to act out against us in whatever shape or form from their beliefs. To add no church is without demons operating in and over others to block, hinder and cause us to abort the call and the faith and return to our former way of life.
We have to continue to get to the place it does not matter if they choose to acknowledge us or support us or share our posts or comment. Or see us still by our past, or not hug us, or not befriend us. And at that find the subject of homosexuality gross and unpalatable.
Truth is, we have to stay on target and move forward with the call, the purpose and the direction we believe Jesus is waking us in. If this means suffering from a cross to bear that does not lighten; then we lean and trust in Jesus even more to vindicate us exalt us and direct us and put the others into our lives. I tell you what, He will make a Disciple out of you in this, and cause you to walk His way than how you think you should walk and be before others.
There is a way to overcome, but it has to come personally, you will find this way as an individual process. You cannot change anyone. Do you recall that man, that woman you fell in love with? You thought you were the one they would change for, and you were very certain you could fix him/her. So you stayed in the relationship that devalued you, took your identity and boundaries away?
Of course, you do, and this was a mistake. Well offense is no different, unless you learn to process and or deal with offense which is as old as Adam and Eve you are going to get your emotions bruised and fall short of your purpose and calling and maybe be of no use to the kingdom.
Withdrawal, leaving, anger, criticism, quitting, ignorance, withdrawal, isolation, drinking, masturbation and porn or whatever is your way of ‘coping’ is not the road to take when disappointed or offended. Look people will offend, that’s the truth, and we will take offense that’s the truth.
Face the fact, giving and taking offense started in the Garden of Eden and is with us today and will be with us tomorrow because we are flesh and limited. If you want to reduce the impact of disappointment and offense, the snowballing effect of sin + sin + sin, first accept you will always take offense in some measure, and offense will always be given in some measure or another.
More importantly, you have to surrender and let Jesus absorb the disappointment the offense. Then allow Him with research, listening to podcasts to teach you to learn to process the disappointment and offense ASAP. Do it before the snowball enlarges, and you get emotionally sick that you lose sight of your calling; and forget your purpose and transgress that you go into a pit that you have to be dug out of and waste your kingdoms purpose time.
Stand and stay standing on the rock.
Be blessed and be a blessing. Please pray for me as at times I'm a wreck in these summer months because of menopause - “I’m a donkey on the edge.” Also, I have limited time for ministry works as I work many secular hours starting early hours in the morning. I am also getting home ready for sale costing $$$'s and time. Then at other times at home it is taken by my needy grandson, who won't leave me alone. Because of this I just have to attend to him and it also gives mum a break, sometimes its just easier to watch TV as he plays by himself then!!! Thank you so much. If my motor bike was registered I'd be "off like the wind coco."
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